In a side-bar to their story which intended to explain the differences between Orhodox and Progressive Jewry on Sunday 1 August, the Sunday Times stated that: “The biggest difference is that only Orthodox marriages are recognised in Israel.”

Not true, say the Progressives. In a letter published in today’s Sunday Times, Steve Lurie, Chairman of the SA Union for Progressive Judaism (SAUPJ), and Rabbi Robert Jacobs, Chairman of the South African Association of Progressive Rabbis have sought to put the record straight.

The SAUPJ say the paper mis-stated the situation of their members’ marriage recognition rights in Israel. They say Progressive marriages in the diaspora are fully accepted on immigration to Israel.

“Israeli law and absorption practice offer an open welcome to all Jews – including ‘Reform’ and those converted in their home country, with a fast track to citizenship,” says the SAUPJ’s letter published today. The reason they have put the word ‘Reform’ in inverted commas in their letter is that ‘Progressive’ is the movement that the SAUPJ and their members subscribe to.

“In most of the Diaspora, Progressive and Conservative Judaism either dominates, as in North America, or is strong and growing, as in the UK and Europe,” the SAUPJ say. “Progressive Judaism is the world’s most numerous Jewish denomination.”

Adding insult to injury

Last Wednesday 702 presenter Redi Direko was holding a discussion on the story on her popular talk show during which she infuriated Progressives by further changing their denomination to “Reformed.”

Rabbi Jacobs had called in to clarify the recognition of marriages in Israel issue, but corrected the terminology as well.

Until last Sunday Farrel Shalkoff and his wife, Anthea, were not regarded as Jewish enough - barring them and their children from a variety of traditional and religious Jewish rites.

Farrel was born an Orthodox Jew and although they believed that Anthea was too, they discovered that she was a Reform Jew only on the eve of their wedding in 1990.

As a result they could not have the Orthodox Jewish wedding they had hoped for, and instead settled for a civil ceremony.

Although angry and rebellious at not being able to get the Orthodox blessing for the nuptials at the time, Farrel had a change of heart when his wife's religious status barred him from offering the traditional blessing at his only brother's barmitzvah several years ago.

"You feel as though you belong but you don't belong. There was always that feeling of being an outcast," said Anthea on Thursday.

On July 7 she finally completed her conversion programme and last weekend they found acceptance among the Jewish community of Highlands North in Johannesburg when they had their wedding ceremony witnessed by 120 relatives and close friends, including five rabbi.

Said the 42-year-old mother of three: "I feel alive and free now and am passionately looking forward to living my life as a real Jew."

While growing up, she attended a government primary school and then a Jewish high school.

"As far as I was concerned, I was Jewish. I didn't know any better. My mom told me that her mother had not done the mikvah (conversion) but my parents never told me that I was a Reform Jew."

She only discovered this when she had to produce her mother's marriage certificate for her own nuptials.

Anthea said most of her friends were shocked after seeing a message she posted on Facebook informing them of her conversion.

"They thought I was Jewish anyway. For the past 20 years, our lives were on hold."

She said she couldn't become a member of the synagogue they attended because she was not Orthodox and this had impacted on her and her daughters, Jeyde, 19, and Harmonie, 17, and her son, Eden, 13.

Because she had only converted recently, her children have not had their bat mitzvahs and bar mitzvah.

They too will have to become Orthodox Jews before they can be allowed to do this. Eden, who was enrolled at a Jewish school catering for Orthodox Jews in June last year, was also barred from attending lessons in August - ostensibly because of "gaps in his education", according to Shalkoff.

"As much as we were upset at the time, we're not upset anymore," he said.

Once Eden converts to Orthodox Judaism, the couple plans to have his bar mitzvah at Israel's Western Wall - the retaining wall of the Temple Mount.

"This will be our way of saying sorry to our children for having put them through so much in the past 20 years."

Shalkoff said they were determined to put all three children through the conversion programme to "bring the conversion journey to a close".

A major difference between Orthodox and Reform Judaism is the way each interprets sacred texts.

• An Orthodox Jew is very strict in the beliefs of a literal Messiah who is yet to come - a literal restoration of the Promised Land and literal life after death. A Reform Jew, while revering sacred writings and the work of rabbis through the ages, tends to see scripture as writings that are about the ongoing consecration of the house of Israel to God.

• Orthodox Jewish women are not allowed to sit together with the men in the synagogue, while men and women are not segregated in a Reform service.

• The Reform tradition has been open to women as rabbis, cantors and educators, while all roles are limited to men in the Orthodox tradition.

• The biggest difference is that only Orthodox marriages are recognised in Israel.

The following “Letter to the Editor” was submitted to the Sunday Times for publication in today’s edition. It did appear, albeit in a somewhat abridged version:

One can only wish Farrel and Anthea Shalkoff many happy years together (Sunday Times, “Couple Re-Weds After 20 years” 1 August 2010, page 8), just as the insert describing the differences that exist within the Jewish community is a credit to the integrity of your paper. At the same time, current Israeli Law and absorption practice offer an open welcome to all Jews—including “Reform” and those converted in their home country, with a fast track to citizenship.

Israel lacks a constitution, and operates with a mixture of laws from Ottoman (pre 1918), British Mandatory (1922-1948), customary law and Israeli legislation. In matters of personal status, acceptance as a member of a religious community resides with the established leader (Chief Rabbis, Waqf, Cardinals and Patriarchs) and their respective offices (Jewish, Moslem or Christian).

This includes couples where only one partner is Jewish, married under civil law outside Israel. The government of Israel does not separate Jewish families and recognizes the binding validity of civil marriage.

Outside Israel, the Jewish population of South Africa represents an exception to the pattern of affiliation. In most of the Diaspora, Progressive and Conservative Judaism either dominates, as in North America, or is strong and growing, as in the UK and Europe. Progressive Judaism is the world’s most numerous Jewish denomination.

In Israel despite the Orthodox institutional monopoly on Judaism, with all the financial and other advantages that brings, the vast majority of Israelis declare themselves to be secular. In Progressive Communities—including the former Soviet Union and North America— Mrs. Shalkoff would have been accepted as Jewish without question.

If her daughters wish equal treatment as a bat Mitzvah, then the egalitarian synagogues of the Progressive Movement are open, accessible and welcome all who wish to participate actively in Jewish life.

The letter is co-signed by Steven Lurie, Chairman: SAUPJ; and Rabbi Robert Jacobs, Chairman: South African Association of Progressive Rabbis.

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Anthea and Farrel Shalkoff and family – PIC - KEVIN SUTHERLAND – Sunday Times.jpg